After having dug to a depth of 10 feet last year, New York scientists found traces of copper wire dating back 100 years and came to the conclusion, that their ancestors already had a telephone network more than 100 years ago.
Not to be outdone by the New Yorkers, in the weeks that followed, a California archaeologist dug to a depth of 20 feet, and shortly after, a
story in the LA Times read: " California archaeologists, finding of 200-year old copper wire, have concluded that their ancestors already had an advanced high-tech communications network a hundred years earlier than the New Yorkers."
One week later, a local newspaper in Nebraska reported the following: "After digging as deep as 30 feet in his pasture near Scottsbluff , Nebraska , Bubba, a self-taught archaeologist, reported that he found absolutely nothing. Bubba has therefore concluded that 300 years ago, Nebraska had already gone wireless."
Just makes a person proud to live in and have lived in Nebraska , don't it.
'Unbutton my blouse and take it off, she said. Trembling, he did as she directed. 'Now take off my boots.' He did as she asked, ever so slowly.
'Now take off my socks.' He removed each gently and placed them neatly by her boots.
'Now take off my skirt.' He slowly unbuttoned it, constantly watching her eyes in the fire light.
'Now take off my bra.' Again, with trembling hands, he did as he was told and dropped it to the floor.
Then she looked at him and said, 'If you ever wear my clothes into town again, you're fired.'
(P.S. I didn't see that one coming, either.)
"Wed, May 12, 2010 at 1:30 PM; thank you JS for yourjoke message:"
Subject: Couldn't pass it up! Had to send it!
“Even after the recent Super Bowl victory of the New Orleans Saints, I have noticed a large number of people implying with bad jokes that Cajuns aren't smart. I would like to state for the record that I disagree with that assessment. Anybody that would build a city 5 feet below sea level in a hurricane zone and fill it with Democrats is a da&*n genius”.
Two 90-year-old women, Rose and Barb had been friends all of their lives.
When it was clear that Rose was dying, Barb visited her every day.
One day Barb said, 'Rose, we both loved playing women's softball all our
lives, and we played all through High School. Please do me one favor: When
you get to Heaven, somehow you must let me know if there's women's softball
Rose looked up at Barb from her deathbed and said, 'Barb, you've been my
best friend for many years. If it's at all possible, I'll do this favor for you.'
Shortly after that, Rose passed on.
A few nights later, Barb was awakened from a sound sleep by a blinding
flash of white light and a voice calling out to her, 'Barb, Barb.'
"Sent: 5/12/10 1:34:09 P.M. thank you "ZKS" for your joke message:"
Subj: AIR FORCE 1
You are going to love this one Joy!!! HA!!! <br>
Top Secret Air Force One <br>
Air Force Chief of Staff: Mr. President, we've just invented an invisibility cloak for Air Force One. <br>
Obama: No shi&%? <br>
General: That's right, sir. Will you be going along on its maiden flight? <br>
Obama: Wouldn't miss it for the world. <br>
General: Have a good trip, sir. <br>
"The Local Poet Has Local Spots To Buy Versus The Online Link:"
Fishing in the South!! <br>
I went fishing this morning but after a short time I ran out of worms.
Then I saw a cottonmouth with a frog in his mouth. Frogs are good bass bait.
Knowing the snake couldn't bite me with the frog in his mouth, I grabbed him right behind the head, took the frog, and put it in my bait bucket.
Now the dilemma was how to release the snake without getting bit. So I grabbed my bottle of Jack Daniels and poured a little whiskey in its mouth.
His eyes rolled backand he went limp. I released him into the lake without incident and carried on fishing using the frog.
A little later, I felt a nudge on my foot. There was that same snake with two frogs in his mouth.
Life is good in the South.
"Wed, May 26, 2010 at 8:50 AM; Thank You "WH" for your off humor forwarded joke message:"