Hi darlings, I'm Ivana Tramp and why should I be the only poor little rich girl to beg for something.

SPECIALIZING IN SIGNS FOR THE RICH AND HOMELESS

Come and beg with me and my maid, Anita Yab and you too can make your dreams come true.

These are tough times. Everyone is suffering. I actually had to trade in my Mercedes for a Prius ... I’m eco friendly and luxury free. Go figure. The louse took the house and the only thing I got was Anita Yab. My maid. And does she ever need a yab? Anita's from Sweden and doesn't know a soul over here. I took her in because I can't fire her no matter how bad the economy. I’m a very loyal employer and she’s my employee.

Every morning at 8:30am I sit at the entrance to the 101 freeway while Anita stands proudly and holds up my "beg" signs. She begs for my food, my spa treatments, my mani pedies, and so much more.

Face it, people. There are so many different levels of poor and I believe that everyone has a right to their own Beg Cards ... something you can hold out your hands with and say, HELP! Give me THIS! I need or want this so badly, I am willing to BEG for it!!!

I WANT new hair extensions!
I WANT a trip to Hawwai!
I WANT another summer house in the Hamptons! (Lost that too in the divorce)

If you can't get what you want with creative visualization and the "Secret" then get on your knees, toss all pride aside, and just beg for it.

RAISE your head high and scream to the stars, "I need that acai berry scrub and thai chi full body massage at the spa!"

All the drunks in this town think they have a monopoly on the freeway entrances, but I say anyone has a right to park their ass anywhere they like and beg from the bottom of their belly. Well, I don’t actually beg. I have Anita do that for me because she needs the job. And she’s very good, I must say!

AND YOU CAN BEG FOR RIGHT NOW WITH YOUR VERY OWN BEG WEAR FROM PAUPER ATTIRE! That’s right! HURRY! And ORDER NOW!

When you buy one of our beg cards, beg shirts, bed bumper stickers, beg buttons and beg aprons YOU CAN TOO BEG FOR ANYTHING YOU WANT! We have got it all right here for you at PAUPER ATTIRE!

And if you’re ever in Los Angeles in Studio City please feel free to stop by the 101 freeway one morning and give us a howdy hello. Anita is always there serving up “Buck Bites” … little mini wieners in honor of my ex-husband, the little prick.