Elopement. The word itself conjures up images of secret romantic getaways and passionate Shakespearean love affairs. If you’re in the process of planning a wedding, the idea has surely crossed your mind at some point. When you’re bogged down by guest lists or daunted by increased expenses, should you consider leaving it all behind?
While elopement, in the past, stirred up images of bedsheets tied together and of couples clambering down drainpipes, it has recently become a very popular option. Rather than pouring all your efforts into a wedding extravaganza, simply whisk yourselves away to a private location, and return happily ever after. Think “There Goes the Bride” instead of “Here Comes the Bride.” For more information on why people choose to elope – as well as, crucially, how to elope – then read on!
Why Elope?
If the prospect of a grand, lavish wedding sounds a little too conventional, then eloping is a sustainable, bohemian alternative. Here are some of the reasons couples opt to take the road less traveled by, and why that made all the difference!
An Intimate Ceremony
According to Lacy Warner of Vogue.com, “[T]he privacy of [her elopement] made it all the more sacred,” and she’ll never forget “how special and intimate it was.” Instead of scheduling ways to corral and entertain guests, put your interests and requirements first, and organize a private ceremony that appeals to you both. A big wedding, while spectacular, can also mean a lot of people to placate and scant time to revel in the romance of it all. By eloping, you can ensure that the focus of the day is on the love you share (rather than long-lost relatives or kids skidding across the dance floor).
A Budget-Friendly Event
As you might have guessed, a small-scale wedding is also economical. Think of the columns and rows you could extract from your Excel spreadsheet by choosing to elope: fewer invitations, a less expensive venue, and a candlelit dinner rather than a multi-course blowout. Any saved costs can be redirected towards other elements of your wedding, such as a destination location or an extended honeymoon. Regardless of what you’re planning, however, our article on “How to Create Your Wedding Budget” should prove valuable!
A Drama-Free Day
Let’s face it: if you don’t have at least one dispute over the wedding guest list, are you even getting married? For any couples being hounded by their parents to invite Great Aunt Sally, then an elopement will allow you to sidestep those awkward, expensive conversations. Of course, eloping isn’t for everyone – some people couldn’t imagine a wedding without all their friends and family matriarchs present. But for those to whom it does appeal, feel free to involve everyone at a later stage (more on that shortly)!
A Lot Less to Plan
As we suggested earlier, planning a wedding is no picnic (unless you’re literally throwing a picnic wedding reception, as described on Brides.com). Making all the arrangements can eat into years of your life, and while this can ramp up the anticipation for some couples, others might feel overwhelmed or constrained. Consider your personality types: are you a ‘Type A’ person, that likes working against the clock and enjoys seeing their ideas realized? Or are you a ‘Type B’ person, who favors a more laid-back approach and appreciates spontaneity? If you’re the latter, check out our article on “Last-Minute Wedding Planning: Tips for a Beautiful Wedding on Short Notice!”
A Smooth Celebration
Not only is the planning time greatly reduced by an elopement, but the amount of stress caused by the process will be a lot less, too. According to Jennifer Allen, the CEO of Just Elope speaking to Brides.com, eloping allows you to “curate an exceptionally intentional wedding day,” where “the pace of the celebration is entirely in the couple’s control.” The amount of coordination and negotiation required both on the day and in the lead-up to a wedding is a lot to contend with! Negate the need for tight schedules and endless contingency plans by eloping to somewhere you can relish each other’s company.
Tips for Eloping
If everything we’ve said so far has resonated with you, then here are some general tips to bear in mind. Use these in conjunction with our “8 Savvy Wedding Planning Tips” to fulfill your dream, um, elopement!
Check the Legality
The thought of holding a makeshift wedding on a tropical island is certainly fun and exotic, but remember that the union must be legal, too! Regulations in the U.S. vary from state to state, but a marriage license must always be procured, and when overseas, other permits and documentation may be required. You also need to find a suitable officiant! True, having to fill out paperwork and parse residency criteria isn’t exactly romantic, but we promise it’s worth it (and far less taxing than organizing a traditional wedding).
Throw a Party
Who says a wedding reception has to be on the same day as your wedding? Round up those friends or relatives for a elopement reception and celebrate the news of your marriage in a more relaxed, informal atmosphere. This option represents the best of both worlds: a private commitment ceremony for you and your partner, and a lively ‘Happily Ever After’-party for everyone else, later on.
Host a Small Group
Eloping means more time for you and your betrothed to spend together, but it doesn’t have to be just you two, either. If slipping away from the entirety of your social circle seems extreme, then compromise by disappearing with a small wedding party in tow. At the very least, recruit your groomsmen and bridesmaids to help you prepare and perform the ceremony. Just make sure that everyone you ask has some degree of notice – even a couple of weeks – rather than absconding and expecting them to drop everything!
Hire a Photographer/Videographer
Eloping means eschewing those lengthy, back-and-forth conversations with wedding vendors. However, one service you shouldn’t skip is that of the photographer or videographer, who will be able to capture ‘stolen moments’ throughout the day for you to look back on. Browse the websites and portfolios of any potential hires and give them as much advance notice as possible. Any photos taken can then be repurposed for your announcements and holiday cards!
Reveal the Big News
While it can be thrilling to keep your elopement a secret, at some point you will have to tell your friends and family! When that time comes, be sure to have a reveal plan, whether you send out elopement cards, disclose the news on social media, or invite your nearest and dearest to witness the announcement. As OneFabDay reminds us, “it’s important that [parents, siblings, BFFs] hear the news from you, ideally in person, and not through the grapevine.” Indeed, when it comes to your parents in particular, the best thing to do may be to inform them before you elope, to circumvent any accidental reveals.
Ultimately, you and your significant other are the decision makers for your wedding day. Wedding planning can be incredibly fun, but eloping can be equally exciting. Choosing what works best for your lifestyle and incorporating both your personalities into the process is sure to kick your marriage and partnership off in style! For the moment, if you have a feel-good story to share about your elopement, let us know in the comments below!
Eoin is a Content Specialist at Zazzle in Cork. He’s recently bought a house with his fiancée, and thus most of his time these days is spent trying to keep the walls from caving in and the wolves from the door. Still, he’s always open to book, game, and movie recommendations, so if you have some, let him know: he’ll add them to a very, very long list.
