Getting married to the love of your life is a momentous day. Celebrating your love in front of friends and family and sharing your joy with those who have seen your relationship flourish are all part of the things that make wedding days so special. That’s why it’s no surprise that many couples decide to renew wedding vows after a while. Whether you do so on a specific anniversary, the occurrence of a large change in your life or just a random day, you’ll want to reference our guide to renewing your wedding vows!
Decide if it will be public or private
There are many reasons why you might decide to have a public renewal as opposed to a private one.
Some couples who have gone through a rough patch might decide to privately renew their vows, away from the watchful eyes of guests. A private ceremony might include details that you aren’t comfortable sharing with others, but are appropriate for you and your spouse to exchange.
On the flip side, a public vow renewal can be something of a second wedding. You can invite family members and friends who might not have been alive or in your life when you got married, but who have now helped to shape your relationship. If desired, it can even include a full-fledged reception!
Pick a date and location
A vow renewal can occur at any time of your marriage, and on any day of the year. Couples often choose their original wedding date on a significant anniversary year like 5, 10, 25 or 50 years later. Even if you choose a seemingly random date, there’s no wrong time to have a vow renewal.
You can have your vow renewal on the same date as your wedding, and you can have it in the same location too! If available, some couples like to return to the venue or city of their wedding to represent the true renewal of the ceremony. Some enjoy the thought of renewing their vows in their family home. In complete contrast, some couples choose to have a destination vow renewal! Combining the celebration with a trip to a new destination can make for a truly meaningful and romantic occasion.
Plan a celebration
Once you decide where and when your vow renewal will be, you can decide what type of celebration you’d like to have. Some couples choose to have the guests seated, similar to a traditional wedding, while others want it to be far less formal. You can call it a true “ceremony” or you can even just gather your friends for a BBQ, a dinner or a fun activity that celebrates the occasion. The possibilities are endless!
Decide how “official” it will be
While a wedding is a legally binding ceremony, a vow renewal is not, meaning you really don’t need it to be all that official. Depending on your personal preference, you can have a clergyperson, your children, a relative or a friend lead the ceremony. If that feels too official, host it yourself! There’s no rule against being the leaders of your own ceremony and, in fact, it makes for a sentimental scene when it’s just the couple involved.
Decide on your vows and the ceremony
Just as you did on your first wedding day, you’ll each make vows to one another. The vows could be the exact same as your original ones, completely new verbiage for this new time of your life, or even a combination of those two options.
Should you wish to have a longer ceremony, you can invite friends and family to do readings, tell stories about your relationship or even perform musical talents. The choice is completely up to you!
Vow renewals are often a wonderful occasion to present each other with new or upgraded wedding rings. You might choose to engrave a personalized message on your existing rings, exchange new bands or even upgrade your original rings. Pro tip: Many jewelers will give you the option of a ring “upgrade” down the line. You can increase the size of the main stone, add more stones to the setting or change the band completely.
Decide who will be invited
A lot of wedding planning has to do with the guests, and a vow renewal is no different. Think about how many or how few people you’d like to have in attendance – if anyone at all! You might choose to invite all your family, or just your parents and children. You might want to celebrate the occasion with all your friends, or a select few. There is no right or wrong amount of people to invite to your vow renewal, as long as they are all excited to join in on your happy day.
Decide what you’ll wear
For a couple that wants a dose of nostalgia, wear your wedding day outfits all over again! If you don’t feel comfortable doing so, pick a standard outfit and feature a nod to your original wedding day. Wear a dress or tie in the color that your bridal party was dressed in, or hold a small bouquet that features the same flowers as your wedding day did. The rules are even more flexible with a vow renewal ceremony – no need to wear white, a gown or a formal suit. Be comfortable in your clothing choice, and encourage your guests to do the same!
While a vow renewal is a wonderful way to celebrate your continuing love, make sure to keep in mind that it isn’t meant to be a second wedding. While you certainly might plan a bridal shower, a bridal party, a registry and favors for a wedding, you can skip all those aspects for a renewal. Make this day about your ever-growing relationship with your partner, and you’re sure to have another day just as memorable as your wedding!
Erika focuses on email marketing, copywriting and merchandising at Zazzle, but she has a secret obsession with all things wedding! During the week you can find her writing punny subject lines while also pinning the latest wedding trends, and outside of the 9-5, she is usually cheering on the San Jose Sharks, reading a good murder mystery, or hunting for the best Philly Cheesesteak in the Bay Area.
