How to throw a divorce party

While divorce might conjure up sad or negative emotions, those who are getting out of an unpleasant marriage might not see it that way. They’re free! That may be exactly how you feel after your divorce, and that is indeed a reason to celebrate. Believe it or not, the latest theme in celebrations is a divorce party! If you’re recently divorced, in the process of getting divorced or you know someone else who is, you might want to think about having a divorce party! It’s better to have loved and lost than stay with someone who drives you crazy, right? Let us be the first to explain this latest trend to you. We’ll start at the beginning. Or the end, as it were.

What Is a Divorce Party?

As its name implies, a divorce party is a celebration of the end of your marriage. Some former (but cordial) couples opt to co-host the party, inviting friends and family from both sides. Some couples might even hold a small “ceremony” and toast to the start of their new, separate lives. While that could work for some people, you might prefer to hold your divorce party in the absence of your ex, inviting just your close friends. In that case, it could be more akin to a bachelor or bachelorette party, a rowdy celebration of freedom but at the end instead of the beginning of your married life.

Why You Might Want to Celebrate a Divorce

Former couples could have many reasons to celebrate their divorce, and the party is a symbol of their new freedom and independence. If a marriage isn’t working, celebrating the freedom of divorce can be liberating in many ways, and it can also be a chance to lean on your friends for support. It can help the ex-husband or ex-wife embrace the next stage of life. Besides, if you’ve just been through a tough time like a divorce, you hardly need an excuse to let loose and celebrate some time with your close friends.

When and Where to Hold a Divorce Party

You could hold a divorce party when mediation is over, contracts are signed, and the divorce is final, or immediately after one or both of you have filed for divorce. If you’re feeling especially motivated, you can also throw a party right in the middle of the whole mess, as a way to celebrate the beginning of a new life and to forget the frustration of your situation for a night. It truly doesn’t matter when you hold a divorce party. Before, after, morning or night.  As for the location, consider a favorite local restaurant, your home, or a bar.

Who Should Be Invited to a Divorce Party?

It’s true that there is someone for everyone. Your someone is supportive friends! The important thing about your divorce party is to invite those who will celebrate with you and support you. If you’re throwing it alone and not co-hosting with your ex, you probably don’t want to invite friends and family from your ex’s side. Likewise, older relatives may not get the modern gist and could find it to be in poor taste. Don’t feel pressured to invite your entire wedding guest list. In fact, you probably want to avoid that. Invite those you’ve wanted near you through both the best times and the worst times. It’s okay to be selective. This is another chance at your day. But this time, you don’t have to share it with someone else!

Choose Your Divorce Party Theme

As with any good party, you can give your divorce party a theme—and you can announce that theme with your divorce party invitations. If you’re looking for a little inspiration, we’ve got some great ideas for party themes right here…

  • Make it a bonfire night by setting up a safe, controlled space to burn some firewood. Gather mementos of the marriage and feel free to toss those in too, should you see fit. Then, enjoy a few drinks by the roaring fire. Just be careful not to add any accelerants to the blaze, lest your event end up like Monica, Rachel, and Phoebe’s famous boyfriend bonfire.
  • Speaking of Monica, Rachel, and Phoebe, what better way is there to mark this occasion than with a Friends-themed party? Pick up some officially licensed invitations and décor from our Friends store, and toast the folks who’ve said “I’ll be there for you” during your toughest times. Could you be any more excited?
  • Make it a costume party! Request that your guests dress up as their favorite separated celebrity couple and give a prize to whoever does it best. Chris Martin and Gwyneth Paltrow, Miranda Lambert and Blake Shelton, Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston, the options are endless!
  • You deserve to relax and unwind right now, so leave your recent troubles behind with a luxurious spa party. Enjoy a facial, a pedicure, and, of course, a little sparkling wine in the best of company, as you discuss the next phase of your life. You’ll emerge rejuvenated, energized, and excited for the future!
  • On this occasion, life has given you marital lemons, but this party is your chance to make lemonade—or, better yet, a batch of citrusy cocktails. Opt for a lemon color scheme for your décor, as well as lemon-flavored desserts, drinks, and more!
  • You had the last fling before the ring, now it’s time to get lit after the split! Relive your bachelor or bachelorette party without any constraints and enjoy your newfound freedom in style. It’s rare that the sequel is better than the original, but we dare say this will be an exception!

Whichever you choose, don’t forget to pair it with coordinating divorce party décor to match your theme. Money can’t buy happiness, but it can get you a great divorce party and that is kind of the same thing.

Shop Divorce Party Invitations on Zazzle

What Do You Do at a Divorce Party?

Now that you’ve got all your friends gathered in a tasteful (or not so tasteful) place, it’s time to get the party started. People at a divorce party will expect to do the same things they would at any gathering: eat, drink, and be merry. As easy as it is to fall into the pity party trap, remember that that is not what this is – it’s a divorce party. There should be no talk of sadness, sorrow or grief. To get out any negative vibes, some games will help you forget your worries and lighten the mood for all your guests.

  • Purchase a piñata so you can take out your aggression in a productive way. Let it rain candy or other small treats on your guests when you finally get it open!
  • Collaborate with guests to create a playlist of songs for the occasion. Keep it upbeat, and focus on positive themes like new beginnings and freedom. You could also select an existing playlist, like this one on Spotify, and add a karaoke element to the proceedings.
  • If you haven’t been single in a while, some advice from friends might be useful. We carry a host of marriage advice cards that can be repurposed for your divorce party. Distribute these to your guests and then have everyone read their answers aloud. This should provide a few laughs, and a nugget of wisdom or two as well.
  • You’ve escaped from the old ball and chain, and thrown off your figurative shackles. Now it’s time to see if you can repeat your Houdini-like heroics by leading your friends to freedom from a mysterious escape room.
  • Engage in a little fantasy fun with a dating-themed party game. Have each guest write down their current celebrity crush, or an embarrassing celebrity crush from their teens, and then try to match the guest with their famous beau.
  • Allow your friends to help you design a new partner with this next party game. Draw the outline of a man or woman onto a white board or large sketching pad, and instruct each guest to write a number of attributes on Post-It notes. You can then read the attributes out, before sticking them to the relevant parts of your outline to build the perfect man or woman.

What Gifts Should I Bring to a Divorce Party?

Buying gifts is difficult at the best of times, but shopping for a divorce party might seem particularly tough. It’s something of a bittersweet occasion after all, and there are few norms or traditions to fall back on for guidance. However, if you think ‘funny, supportive, comforting, optimistic, and sincere,’ you won’t go wrong. You can also check out our list of suggestions below for more specific ideas.

  • We’ll start with a simple and classic party gift, but with an added twist. A good bottle of wine, sparkling wine, or even craft beer to help toast new beginnings is an ideal gift for the occasion, and you can add a humorous touch with a personalized ‘Pairs Well With Freshly Signed Divorce Papers’ label.
  • If the guest of honor has recently moved into a new home following their separation, warm, cozy, and comforting accents such as blankets and throw pillows—perhaps adorned with humorous or inspirational messages—might be good options.
  • In times of stress or disruption, it can be easy for us to fall into bad habits. Help them stay active or set new fitness goals post-divorce with a gym membership, personalized yoga mat, water bottle, or healthy meal subscription.
  • This article is dotted with frequent references to ‘new beginnings’ and ‘fresh starts,’ so why not help your newly single friend to make the most of this opportunity for self-improvement with a customized planner, an empowering book, a language course, or a Masterclass subscription.
  • Helping them stay active and motivated is important, but it’s also important for them to relax and come to terms with spending a little more time enjoying their own company. A subscription to their favorite streaming service or an e-reader may come in handy while they adjust to their new circumstances.
  • Yes, the divorce party is a celebration and all about having fun. However, there’ll be tough times in the coming months, when things won’t seem quite so rosy. The greatest gift of all, then, is your support. Whatever you choose from the list of gifts above, make sure that it’s accompanied by a letter, email, or even just a text to offer your ear whenever they need it.

Whatever you do at your divorce party, and whomever you choose to invite, serve some food and beverages, play some upbeat tunes, and most importantly, relax. This is the first day of the rest of your life, and it’s ok that that life looks different than you originally planned.

Editor’s Note: This post was originally published in July 2019 and has been updated for accuracy and comprehensiveness.