When we think of wedding etiquette, we often think of how the guests should behave on the big day. In truth, it’s just as important that the couple follows certain unwritten rules leading up to and on the wedding day. If you’re getting married soon, read this guide to make sure your wedding etiquette is on point!
- Tell Your Family First – While a social media engagement announcement is a must for many couples, don’t press post just yet! Before composing the perfect Instagram caption, call your parents, siblings and close friends. While it’s not a requirement, it’s considerate to make your closest family members and friends the first ones to know about your engagement. No one likes to be the last to know, and you especially don’t want that person to be someone you care deeply about.
- Double Check Your Invite List – First comes engagement, then comes engagement parties, save the dates, bridal showers and bachelor/bachelorette parties! Before you start creating guest lists for each, remember that everyone who is invited to these pre-wedding celebrations should absolutely be invited to the wedding. If you aren’t sure if they’ll eventually be on the guest list, err on the side of caution and leave them out of these pre-wedding events. You can always add people to your wedding guest list, but it would be rude to not invite them after they already attended a shower or celebration in your honor.
- Be Mindful of Plus-Ones – The decision of offering guests a plus one or not is one of much discussion, as it should be! With that said, there are some scenarios where it would be rude not to allow a guest a plus one. For guests who are unlikely to know anyone else at the wedding, guests who are married, members of your bridal party and guests who are engaged or in serious, long-term relationships should all be granted a plus one.
- Include Postage on Your RSVP Card Envelopes – While not a requirement, adding postage to your RSVP card envelopes really is a common courtesy. Getting RSVP cards returned is stressful for all weddings, so don’t make it even harder by requiring guests to purchase and stamp the envelope on their own. For a wedding with 100 individual invitations requiring one 55-cent Forever® Stamp for each RSVP card, it’s only a $55 expense that could save you a lot of headaches in the future.
- Plan Your Wedding With the Weather in Mind – You’re likely considering how the weather will affect the wedding day for you and your soon-to-be spouse but are you considering your guests? Depending on the time of year and location, that might mean providing hand fans, ice water, fleece blankets, umbrellas or an event tent as a back-up venue. If you’re planning a wedding and it might rain or it’s going to be extremely warm, check out our guides for how to make the best of either situation!
- Leave a Proper Amount of Time Between the Ceremony and Reception – If your ceremony and reception are at the same venue, leave no more than one hour between the two events. Even with drinks and some appetizers to hold them over, guests will start to get restless if they have to wait too long.
- Plan Transportation – Depending on the location and type of venue where you’re having your wedding, it might be appropriate and courteous to offer a transportation option for your guests. For a remote location or one that has limited parking, that might be a charter bus that can drive your guests from one set location. If you don’t have it in your budget to provide transportation for everyone, at least make sure you take care of your bridal party and close family. They are valued members of your wedding and deserved to be treated as such!
- Provide a Seating Chart – While some couples crave a more relaxed wedding reception vibe, skipping the seating chart isn’t the way to achieve it. Without a seating chart, guests might feel uncomfortable with where they should sit, and it could leave tables awkwardly unfilled. Take the stress away by providing a simple sign with everyone’s name and their assigned table number.
- Skip the Cash Bar, if at all Possible – Everyone knows that alcohol can be one of the biggest costs associated with a wedding, and some couples are tempted to pass that price tag along to their guests who want to enjoy the celebration with an adult beverage or two. If at all, possible, don’t require any payment from your guests for alcoholic beverages. Some ways you might be able to reduce the cost are only offering beer and wine instead of a full bar, skipping the traditional sparkling wine toast or only refilling glasses when a guest requests it. Looking for more wedding money-saving tips? Check out our full guide here!
- Greet All Your Guests – You probably see some of your guests all the time, but for some, it may have been awhile. For that reason, it’s especially important to take the time to greet all your guests. Go with a traditional receiving line or take time during dinner to visit each table and verbally thank each person for coming.
- Make Sure Your Vendors are Fed – Even though they aren’t your guests, your vendors should sort of be treated as such when it comes to food. Make sure you include space in your budget to feed every single vendor who is working on your wedding day. Think of it like a normal job – if you worked for 8 hours you would need to refuel at some point too.
- Send Thank You Cards – One of the most important parts of a wedding is thanking your guests for their attendance and any gifts they gave you. No matter how casual of a wedding you are having, you absolutely cannot miss this step. Need some wording tips and etiquette suggestions when it comes to your thank you cards? Read more here!
Many parts and pieces of a wedding can be altered to fit your personal style, but some should not. Whatever you have planned for the big day, be sure that you are following proper etiquette when it comes to transportation, seating charts and so much more. Your guests and vendors will be very glad you did!
Erika focuses on email marketing, copywriting and merchandising at Zazzle, but she has a secret obsession with all things wedding! During the week you can find her writing punny subject lines while also pinning the latest wedding trends, and outside of the 9-5, she is usually cheering on the San Jose Sharks, reading a good murder mystery, or hunting for the best Philly Cheesesteak in the Bay Area.
