We’re no meteorologists here at Zazzle, but we do know a thing or two about showers! Badum-tish! That’s right, folks, today we’re going to delve into the topics of bridal showers and wedding showers to examine the key differences between the two events, and ultimately help you to decide which one is right for you. So, if you’re soon to be wed, or you’ve simply been left in charge of arranging a shower for someone who is, join us as we take a closer look at these two fun pre-wedding rituals.
A Little History…
Bridal showers originated in the Netherlands in the 1500s, according to World Bride Magazine. The origin story claims that when a Dutch father disapproved of his daughter’s choice of fiancé and withheld her dowry, the young woman’s friends rallied around her and presented her with gifts instead. Her father, so moved by the gesture, performed a 180 and granted his approval of the union after all. However, it wasn’t until the tradition reached the United States and became popular with Victorian Era elites that it got the name by which it’s known today. At these parties, gifts were often placed inside a paper parasol that was then used to ‘shower’ the bride, and so the term “bridal shower” was born.
The Basics
Bridal Shower
Bridal showers, as the name and our little history lesson above suggest, are a celebration of the bride-to-be specifically, and have traditionally been seen as a chance to provide her with essential items for the marital home. The groom-to-be doesn’t usually take part in a bridal shower, but Brides.com notes that he will often arrive near the end of the party to thank guests and perhaps present his partner with flowers.
Wedding Shower
In defining what the ‘wedding shower’ actually is, we arrive at the key difference between it and a bridal shower. The wedding shower is a more modern approach that eschews tradition somewhat in favor of an inclusive event celebrating both members of the soon-to-be-betrothed couple. As a result, it can also be referred to as a ‘couple’s shower.’
Who Hosts?
Bridal Shower
Traditionally—we’ll use that word many times when discussing bridal showers—the maid of honor is given the task of organizing the bridal shower. However, as the maid of honor has so many other duties—not least of which is organizing the more raucous bachelorette party—it’s not uncommon these days to see a close family member, like the bride’s mom, mother-in-law, or aunt, stepping in to take the lead role instead.
Wedding Shower
Not steeped in the same history or bound by the same etiquette as the bridal shower, a wedding shower can be organized and hosted by a variety of different people. Usually, like the bridal shower, it will be organized by high-ranking members of the bridal party, but it can also be hosted by a group of friends or family members—or even by the couple themselves.
Who Attends?
Bridal Shower
There’s one golden rule when it comes to preparing guest lists for both bridal and wedding showers, according to The Knot: “Those invited to any shower must be invited to the actual wedding. However, not all wedding guests need to be invited to the shower.” In the case of the bridal shower, the guest list is usually limited to female members of the wedding party, female family members, and other close girlfriends of the bride. The number of guests invited is down to the organizers, with input from the bride herself, of course.
Wedding Shower
As we noted earlier, the wedding shower is a more inclusive event and can be attended by close friends and family members of any gender. As a result, wedding showers tend to be larger events with more extensive guest lists, and, according to The Centre Escondido, they tend to be infused with more of a “party atmosphere.”
When Should My Shower Take Place?
Bridal Shower and Wedding Shower
When it comes to dates, bridal and wedding showers are pretty similar. Most online sources agree that any shower should take place somewhere between three weeks and three months prior to the wedding itself. Martha Stewart says “the trick is not to plan it too far in advance or too close to the wedding date,” but the sweet spot seems to be about two months before the big day.
Whatever date you choose, make sure to mail your shower invitations four to six weeks in advance to give guests plenty of notice. If you do find yourself short on time, our instantly downloadable digital bridal shower invitations can help you get the word out ASAP.
What Are Some Good Party Ideas or Themes?
Bridal Shower
A theme isn’t essential to make a bridal shower special. Typically bridal showers are held in the early afternoon, taking the form of brunches or luncheons, and all that’s required to guarantee a good time is tasty food, refreshing beverages, and the best of friends. However, if you’d like your bridal shower to really stand out, you’ll discover suggestions like FRIENDS themes, Ladies’ Luncheons, Elegant Tea Parties, and many more in 10 Ideas That Will Take Your Bridal Shower From Subdued to Spectacular!
Wedding Shower
Wedding showers are usually held in the evening time, so the event is more likely to be along the lines of a cocktail or dinner party than a brunch. Thus, you could consider throwing a snazzy Black & White Bash, a Brews Before I Do’s party at a local microbrewery, or a summery Hawaiian Luau.
If in doubt, discuss the occasion with the couple of the hour to see whether they’re envisioning a formal event or something more relaxed, and choose a theme based on their recommendations.
Where Should My Shower Take Place?
Bridal Shower
Bridal showers typically take place in the host’s home or backyard, but they might also be held in tea rooms, cafés, restaurants, spas, or even art studios, depending on the type of event being organized and its chosen theme. If you’re hosting a bridal shower at home, don’t forget to check out our charming party supplies and décor.
Wedding Showers
Perhaps due in part to their often larger size, wedding showers are more commonly held at venues like private areas in bars, restaurants, breweries, and vineyards. However, just like bridal showers, they can take place in a host’s home or backyard as well.
As with most elements of the wedding shower, the venue is flexible and you should choose the setting that makes your guests of honor most comfortable.
What Activities Should Be Included?
Bridal Shower
Games are a big part of any bridal shower, so you might want to include a few old favorites like toilet paper wedding gown contests and various quizzes that test the guests’ knowledge of the happy couple.
However, if you’re struggling to come up with ideas beyond those traditional crowd pleasers, check out The Most Popular (& Printable!) Bridal Shower Games. If the bride is comfortable with it, you can also hold a gift-opening ceremony.
Wedding Showers
Wedding showers tend to have less game time, but if you think your guests would respond well to traditional games, or that certain activities would suit your party theme (think lawn games like cornhole for your summertime I Do BBQ), then by all means include them in your schedule of events.
What Gifts Are Appropriate?
Bridal Shower
As we noted earlier, gifts given at bridal showers were traditionally household items that might be needed in the marital home. With more couples cohabiting prior to the wedding these days, though, etiquette has evolved somewhat. According to Brides.com, “personal gifts,” such as customized jewelry, apparel, and accessories, or self-care packages for the bride, are now more in vogue. However, if one has been set up, it’s best to choose items from the bridal shower registry—and it’s still appropriate to select a gift from the wedding registry too.
Wedding Showers
For wedding showers, the gifts should be items that both the bride and groom will use and enjoy—preferably together. Items like personalized throw pillows or blankets, monogrammed barware sets, date night games, His & Her items like luggage tags, and travel gift cards that might contribute to their honeymoon or a subsequent romantic getaway are all good ideas for wedding shower gifts.
So, Which Shower Is Right for Me?
If you prefer a more traditional approach—which is the case with many people when it comes to wedding and wedding-related events—the bridal shower might be your best choice. However, if you’d prefer to have a more inclusive and free-wheeling party, the wedding shower is a better option. Of course, you shouldn’t feel overly constrained by tradition or etiquette guidelines either. If you like certain elements of both showers, there’s nothing wrong with blending those elements together to create a fun and unique party that’s perfect for you!
Seamus is a Content Specialist at Zazzle. He is quite happy in the role. So, if you’re following, that makes him a content Content Specialist. Seamus likes to write, read, watch sports, drink good beer/coffee, and spend time with his two beautiful kids. To say that he doesn’t like ketchup is an understatement.
