It can be heartbreaking to come to the realization that you need to postpone or even cancel your wedding. You’ve put months, if not years, into planning this special day. You’ve selected the venue, chosen the dress, planned the reception, and sent out the invitations. Your guest list is ready. You have everything mentally outlined, and you’ve been counting down the days.

Postponing or canceling a wedding is never easy. Just as hard as coming to terms with this reality is realizing that you need to inform all your guests, your venue and your vendors. Your guests will understand that calling off or postponing a wedding is occasionally necessary, especially when circumstances are out of your control like they are with COVID-19. Here are a few tips that can help you through this difficult time.

Tell Your Guests

The first step in planning or postponing your wedding is to notify everyone who needs to know so that people can quickly amend their plans.

If you haven’t made any major announcements and have only shared the news with those closest to you, then you don’t have much to worry about. When you’re ready to begin planning, you can so do as you usually would.

If you have started planning your wedding, the first step in postponing or canceling is to actually figure out what your plans are. If you are canceling the wedding altogether, notify your guests of that clearly by saying “the wedding has been canceled” or “the wedding has been permanently postponed”. Otherwise, they might be waiting for further communication from you. Some couples who have started planning their wedding might decide to cancel altogether, in favor of a courthouse wedding. If you’re overwhelmed by the prospect of planning a wedding again, feel free to cancel or adjust your original plans. With a situation like the COVID-19 pandemic, no one is going to question how you handle your wedding plans.

If you are simply postponing the wedding, the next piece of information you need to figure out is if your original date or venue is changing. If you know the new date or venue, notify your guests of the change.

If you’ve sent out save the dates or invitations already, communicate the information with your guests either with an email, an update to your wedding website or with a wedding postponement announcement card. Pro tip: If your date changes after you’ve sent your invitations, remember that you’ll have to ask your guests to RSVP again.

If you don’t yet know the new date of your wedding, let your guests know that the wedding is postponed for now, and to look for more information in the future about a modified date.

Remember that weddings can be canceled for a variety of reasons, and you may or may not decide to share that information with your guests. If you’re canceling because of COVID-19 or another reason, you can include a small explanation. But by no means should you feel that you need to give an explanation, as in some cases it can be very personal.

How to Cancel or Postpone a Wedding
Photo: Zazzle.com

Inform Your Venue and Vendors

The next step in postponing or canceling your wedding is letting your venue and vendors know. Hopefully, most will be very understanding, especially when the circumstances are completely out of your control, like we are experiencing with COVID-19. Some may even reach out to you first if there are restrictions in place for your wedding date.

If you’re simply changing the date, first call your venue to see if a new date is available for you to switch to. If a new date isn’t available or preferable for you, decide what your priority is – a new date or the original venue. Adjust your plans accordingly once you have made that decision.

When it comes to your vendors, call each one, and let them know about the situation. Follow up every call with an email, so you have the confirmation in writing that you’re canceling or changing the wedding date. If a vendor can’t adjust to your new date, look into other vendors who can.

Cancel the Honeymoon and Other Related Events

Once you’ve tackled postponing or canceling your wedding you might also have to deal with your honeymoon. Depending on the dates and destination, you might be able to travel for your honeymoon before your wedding, if it’s safe to do so. It might not be the traditional honeymoon you had planned, but it doesn’t mean that it’s impossible. It could make for a fun pre-wedding vacation!

If you’re canceling or changing your travel, begin by contacting all the associated parties, including your accommodations, airline or cruise provider, and any other vendors associated with your trip. Remember that the reason for cancellation could weigh into what happens in terms of canceling or rebooking. Due to COVID-19, many airlines are offering more flexible cancellation policies than usual, often giving you the chance to rebook for a later time at no penalty.

Once you’ve tackled canceling or rescheduling your honeymoon, think about the other wedding events you have planned. In some cases, you might decide to keep the original plans for your engagement party, bridal showers or bachelor/bachelorette parties, but if that’s not an option, discuss new dates with the specific guests of those events. Remember, your guests are going to be supportive of your needs in this scenario. Pick new dates or plans that you as the bride or groom are most comfortable with.

If you still want to celebrate amidst COVID-19, consider virtual events, drive-by events or by mail events. There are still plenty of options to celebrate, even if they look a little different than you initially expected. In fact, couples in New York and California can now obtain marriage licenses and get married via audio-visual technology. You still have to follow some standard rules, but getting married amidst a shelter in place order is possible!

Canceling a wedding may be difficult, but once you get through the important steps, you can focus on whatever it is that you have to do next. Maybe you need to take the time to emotionally heal or begin the process of rescheduling and making fresh plans. Maybe you decide to have a small private wedding ceremony, with a larger celebration at a later time. Whatever your process entails, give yourself time to get through it all. The clearer your outlook, the easier it will be to get through.