Whether you’re the best man, father of the bride, or a close friend of the bride or groom, making a toast on someone’s wedding day is an exciting but daunting prospect. None of us want to be the person who spoke for too long or whose jokes fell flat. But done well, and your words will touch the hearts of everyone in the room. So if you’re struggling to write that speech, follow our Dos and Don’ts on how to make a wedding toast!
Do…
Grab their attention
People judge a speech pretty quickly, and if you don’t engage your listeners fast, you risk losing them. So rather than start with a standard explanation of how you know the couple, why not give your audience a funny or mysterious anecdote. Once your audience is intrigued, move on and give a bit of background to your relationship.
Be brief but descriptive
The best advice for any toast is to keep it concise. You may enjoy a detailed account of your entire friendship, but others in the room may drop off! So select a few, interesting, heartfelt stories or points about the couple and wrap it up in under five minutes. Try to make any anecdotes descriptive so guests who weren’t there can picture the scene.
Involve the audience
One of the best wedding toast ideas is to mention people in the audience. It will keep everyone engaged in the story, and certainly awake! Perhaps someone witnessed a certain event: “Joe, you remember when…” Or you want to warn (jovially) any concerned family members: “Dad, you never knew this, but…”
Make it about them, not you
A wedding toast is to celebrate the happy couple and their relationship. So focus on what makes them so special, rather than discussing your own experiences or the concept of marriage in general. When you have a first draft, count up all the uses or ‘I’ versus the names of the couple. If you make more appearances than they do, it’s time to rewrite!
Express yourself
Confident body language will help you tell your story and give you more stage presence. So relax your shoulders, stand tall, and use hand gestures to emphasize your points. Move with the rest of the room, so if they laugh, laugh with them. Above all, remember to smile – it will make you feel more relaxed!
End on a high
Wrap up each story with a good punchline, leaving everyone laughing, awww-ing, or aghast! Then before the big clink, tie up your toast with some meaningful final thoughts. This is a moment when you can get a bit soppy. So offer well wishes, congratulations, and thanks to the couple and anyone else who has been a part of the celebration.
Don’t…
Make excuses
Yes, you might be nervous but don’t admit it! A good toast never starts with the words “I’m sorry, but I’m not the best public speaker…” or “I haven’t known her for that long but…” Any apologies or excuses may only draw attention to whatever you’re worried about. If you’re well prepared and act confident, no one will notice your insecurities.
Read from a script
Resist the temptation to hide behind sheets of paper and read your toast out word by word. Everyone’s voice changes when they are reading; it won’t project if you’re looking down and will become more monotonous. Jokes can sound forced and emotions less real. Instead, prepare a few cards with bullet points and just practice, practice, practice!
Be inappropriate
It may be tempting to recount drunken episodes from college, but it’s a no-no. The same goes for stories about exes or any rocky patches in a relationship. Even if your stories are clean, try to avoid lots of inside jokes or references that will leave most listeners feeling left out. If you’re unsure about an anecdote, just ask the couple for their opinion.
Have one too many
If you’re not a confident speaker, it’s tempting to hit the bar for some liquid courage. One drink may help to calm your nerves but know your limits. The last thing you want to do is stumble to microphone or slur your words. So watch the wine during dinner and look forward to a few drinks after the speeches instead.
Use too many superlatives
These are words like ‘nicest,’ ‘prettiest,’ or ‘sweetest.’ They are flattering, but often overused and can end up sounding empty and meaningless. Instead, be specific in your praise. So instead of saying your friend is the ‘funniest’ or ‘gentlest’ person you know, try to describe or give examples of their sense of humor or acts of kindness.
Try to be someone else
Don’t act like the funny guy if jokes don’t come naturally, or fake tears if you’re not the emotional type. You’ll only get more nervous and sound less genuine if you’re playing a part that isn’t really you. Remember, you were chosen to make this toast for a reason, so stick to what you do best!
The best toasts are simple, charming, and sentimental. So even just a few sentences written from the heart will be wonderful. We hope these wedding speech ideas help you compose something special! Finally, remember to bring a glass. After doing such a great job, you’ll deserve that sip of sparkling wine and a big round of applause!
Matilda is Marketing Manager in the International Team, bringing Zazzle to customers everywhere from Sydney to Stockholm.
