Whether you’re the lucky couple planning the wedding of your dreams or you’re the wedding guests invited to a modest backyard wedding, there’s still a proper protocol and level of respect you want to show. From shifting cultural views and gender norms, keeping up with modern wedding etiquette calls for knowing some of the answers to your burning wedding questions. Here are some of the top 10 wedding etiquette questions and answers:
1. What’s the Best Way to Invite Guests to Your Wedding?
While shifting cultural norms have made it appropriate to forgo hard-set rules on invitations, inviting guests via paper invitations is still the preferred way to go. Make your invitations extra special by opting for a custom-made wedding invitation. You can also get really specific to the look and feel of your wedding – say you’re having a more rustic wedding, you can go with this one that shows string lights and baby’s breath against a wood backdrop.
2. How Should Couples Announce the Wedding When You Don’t Have All the Details?
When you’ve just recently accepted a proposal, it’s understandable if you’re just deciding now on the day of your wedding. But proper wedding etiquette still calls for announcing your date so you provide wedding guests with ample time to make arrangements to attend. A great way to announce your wedding is by sharing save-the-date cards with your guests. Make your save-the-dates fun and original like this one that looks like personalized boarding passes for a destination wedding.
3. When Can “Silent” RSVPs Be Confirmed?
When you send out invitations, you’re expecting everyone to reply. But the truth is that there are always a set of people who go “silent” when it comes to RSVPing for weddings and events. So, it’s not uncommon to wonder when the appropriate time is to reach out to your “silent” RSVPs for a confirmation.
Before you make calls exactly at 12am the day past the deadline, consider giving your wedding guests an additional day to respond. Life happens and your wedding isn’t the only event that may be on the top of your guests’ minds. But be polite — call, text or email to get a firm answer from your guests.
4. Are “Experience” Gifts Appropriate?
Today’s savvy brides and grooms are going beyond setting up standard gift registries and instead opting to accept “experience” gifts, such as donations towards their honeymoon. While these gifts are certainly appropriate to accept, you definitely want to avoid asking for them directly on your wedding invitations. Instead, have your best man, matron of honor or parents suggest to guests to donate towards these types of gifts. Also, ensure you have an accessible registry with a few items set up for wedding guests who feel more comfortable providing you with a gift.
5. Are Cash Bars Inappropriate?
If you want to follow proper wedding etiquette, then a cash bar is a big no-no. Asking your guests to pay for drinks at your wedding may appear tacky, especially since they’ll likely be paying for wedding gifts and their transportation and lodging.
6. How Should You Thank Your Wedding Guests for Gifts?
Proper wedding etiquette calls for thanking guests for attending your wedding and wedding gifts or any other gift given for wedding-related events, such as the bridal shower or engagement party. But a generic “thanks” expressed at your wedding won’t do. Instead, send thank you notes in the mail. Make it memorable by including an image on your thank you postcard of you and your spouse on your honeymoon, along with a handwritten message.
7. Is It Okay to Show Up With a ‘Plus One’ if You’re Engaged?
If you’re the guest to a wedding and you want to invite your fiancé, then it is ok to ask the bride- or groom-to-be to add your spouse-to-be as your plus-one. This is a unique situation that’s appropriate to do. That’s because most wedding couples often invite their wedding guests’ soon-to-be spouses. But inquiring about a plus-one for your children, cousin, co-worker or any other date you can think of when it wasn’t offered isn’t proper wedding etiquette.
8. What if You Have to Decline an Invitation You Already Confirmed?
As the guest to a wedding, it’s important to keep the couple aware of any changes to your plans to attend their wedding immediately. It’s not ideal but you can decline a wedding invitation even after you’ve RSVPed. However, make sure you send a wedding gift.
9. Can Mothers-of-the-Brides or Groom Throw a Separate Bridal Shower?
If most of the guests live far away from the bride or wedding destination, then throwing a separate bridal shower may be appropriate. Just ensure the bride can attend and isn’t overwhelmed. Communicate and coordinate with her maid-of-honor and enlist her help. You can make the event special by using custom-made wedding stationery and items that go along with the wedding theme, such as invitations, labels or shower game stationary that go with the wedding theme.
10. Can Guests Sneak a Photo Op?
If the bride and groom request keeping pictures to a minimum, respect their wishes by leaving the photography to the professionals. The bride and groom may prefer you enjoy the wedding rather than going for the perfect photo.
Final Thoughts
Whether you’re the couple planning your wedding or a wedding guest, it’s important to keep wedding etiquette in mind. Just follow these tips, and you’ll make the right moves and enjoy the wedding.
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