As an invited guest to a wedding, your responsibility is seemingly very small – just show up! Even if your best friends are the bride or cousin to the groom, unless you’re in the bridal party, then you get to just enjoy the event. But, along with that, comes a set of unspoken wedding guest etiquette rules. From how you should behave at the ceremony and what you should wear, to what to give as a gift and who to talk to if there’s an issue. That’s why in today’s post, we’re covering everything you need to know for your next wedding!
Etiquette Rules to Remember
RSVPs Matter
It only takes a few minutes to fill out an RSVP card and drop it in a mailbox. Not sending it by the requested date can lead to a very stressful scenario for the couple. Don’t be the guest that has to be hunted down for a response! Some couples might prefer you RSVP on a wedding website, so don’t forget to do that either–it’ll only take a couple of clicks.
Pro tip: If you won’t know your response for a while, reach out to the bride or groom directly and let them know what’s holding up your reply so that they can plan accordingly.
Don’t Text the Bride or Groom
The last thing a bride or groom needs on their wedding day is text messages that could be answered by referring to the invitation, a wedding website, or by asking another guest. Before blowing up their phone, see if you can find the answer on your own.
Arrive Ahead of Time
Tardiness is a wedding no-go! Leave the big entrance for the happy couple by making sure you arrive 10-15 minutes before the ceremony is scheduled to start. When it comes to wedding ceremonies, it’s much better to be early than fashionably late.
Pro tip: If you do arrive after the ceremony has begun, try and find a spot at the back you can quietly sneak over to. If there isn’t one available, don’t open doors or proceed to take a seat near the front. The focus should be on the happy couple, not you.
Remember Everyone Has Their Own Style
You might have your opinions about the invitations, ceremony, and reception, but remember, it’s not your day. The important thing is that the couple is happy with how things are at their wedding!
Put Away the Phone
phone during the wedding ceremony. If you want to snap a photo, just remember that the couple have a photographer and videographer to get the perfect shot. Whatever you do, turn that ringer off.
Gift Giving Basics
When it comes to a wedding, the proper etiquette is actually to send a gift from the couple’s gift registry before the big day. It’s ok if you show up with a gift, as they may have a gift table, but the best thing to do would be to get them a personalized greeting card!
Follow Plus-One Etiquette
The rule goes, unless the invitation envelope says something along the lines of ‘John Smith and Guest,’ you shouldn’t bring a plus one. Showing up with an uninvited guest can throw off the couple’s careful planning. If you’re unsure, it’s always better to ask rather than make assumptions.
Pro tip: If you tossed the envelope or aren’t sure if you can bring a plus one, ask the maid of honor or best man for the details. Better safe than sorry on this one.
Drink Responsibly
Weddings are often known for having open bars – a great way for guests to enjoy some adult beverages while celebrating the happy couple. But before you toss back another shot, remember to keep yourself in check and drink responsibly. Nobody wants to be the guest who has one too many and distracts from the happy couple.
How to Interpret Dress Codes
Wearing White
It’s a no-no unless the bride gives you the green light. If you’re unsure, ask one of the bridesmaids what color they’re wearing.
Black and White Tie
Black Tie requires a black bow tie tux for men and long dark dresses for women. White Tie is even more formal—think full ball gowns and tuxedos with white bow ties and gloves.
Black Dress Myth
It’s perfectly fine to wear black to a wedding if it fits the dress code. Just be mindful of the style and length to ensure it’s appropriate for the occasion.
It’s truly an honor to be invited to someone’s wedding! By receiving an invitation, the bride or groom is giving you a first-row seat to the happiest day of their lives. It’s important to respect certain wedding guest etiquette rules to ensure that the big day is as enjoyable for you as it is for the bride and groom. Any questions about wedding etiquette? Drop them in the comments.
Lucy is a Content Specialist at Zazzle in Cork, Ireland. Originally from America, she is now settled in Ireland with her husband and Corgi-mix puppy Dug (yes, like from Disney’s UP!). It’s the simple things in life that matter, so give her a bag of M&M’s and she’s happy. She loves to relax with a good book, cozy up on the couch for a movie, or go to the park for a stroll with the family.
Is it appropriate to include where the couple is registered on the invitation ?
Hi Deborah!
Etiquette-focused folks will tell you that the #1 wedding faux pas is including any information about gifting/registries on your invitation, or even in the invitation envelope for that matter. Some will even recommend that you only inform close friends of your registry, and implore them to pass that information along to family and friends. We don’t know about you, but that is a tad archaic for our taste. We suggest setting up a wedding website, and including all the details you have on your physical invitation, along with registry information and anything else you’d like your guests to know about your big day. Hope that helps!