When it comes to losing a significant other, it can be very hard to express the pain and sorrow you feel. Whether you’re mourning for a partner, parent, child, or friend, it can be challenging to think about anything else other than your significant loss. The intricacies of funeral attire, for example, might seem a trivial matter, but the clothes we wear to funerals play a significant role in providing a semblance of comfort and support.
During this time, having an empathetic friend at your side to stand up and take the responsibility of dressing you and offering assistance with all the funeral arrangements could be the solace you need to get you through this painful experience. Consider this a noble call to all the fashionistas out there: if you know someone grieving at the moment and are unsure of how to help, allocating clothes for the remembrance services will certainly make a difference.
In this article, we’ll discuss options for using your own wardrobe or suggesting considerate ideas easily procured at a local store. Whether you’re the extraordinary friend gracefully shouldering responsibilities or you find yourself navigating the task of dressing amidst profound loss, we aim to lend a helping hand and make this challenging journey a little more manageable for you by sharing advice on how to dress for a funeral.
Funeral Attire Etiquette
As it’s only been a few days since your loved one passed, we’re going to keep things clear and simple so you can tick one thing off the list at least. When it comes to dressing appropriately for a funeral or burial, typically, black, navy, or dark neutral colors are worn. When it comes to formality, it can be difficult to decide whether to go with full formal or informal clothing. Usually, family members and close friends opt for formal clothing, and distant friends or work colleagues choose attire on the more informal side. However, this is entirely up to you. As this experience will be hard enough on you, we’ll think of ways that’ll have you looking great, and we’ll include comforting additions that’ll make your outfit more wearable and breathable, too.
Funeral Attire for Women
Selecting clothes for a funeral calls for a touch of discretion. While your closet may boast several black dresses, not all are suitable for such gloomy occasions. Opt for a conservative approach, akin to what you might wear for a job interview or meeting. Keep it corporate-appropriate – think clean, wrinkle-free clothing. A knee-length or longer dark-colored dress is entirely fitting. Alternatively, a skirt suit or dark pants paired with a blouse and cardigan are suitable choices. Comfort matters too; consider leggings for an option that combines both grace and ease, and complement your ensemble with low-profile pumps or simple ballet flats in a matching color.
You’re probably wondering why we haven’t mentioned heels, but as your body and mind are going through a traumatic experience, we recommend a flat shoe so you can stay grounded. If you’d prefer some sort of heel, a block heel would suit as it would help more with balance, and won’t impact your feet too much.
Funeral Attire for Men
Select a dark suit for a refined appearance, complemented by a white collared shirt or another subtle color. Choose a belt and tie that match the suit, avoiding overly contrasting or flashy elements. Complete the ensemble with clean, dark dress shoes paired with appropriate socks. In the absence of a blazer or smart jacket, consider a simple, dark sweater over your dress shirt for a polished and seamless look.
To provide a source of solace and personal connection during this hardship, you may also consider incorporating a memorial t-shirt into your outfit. This thoughtful choice can serve as a familial tribute or a private remembrance, and when worn discreetly beneath your shirt, can allow a cherished picture to remain close to your heart.
Additional Advice
- Bring layers – No matter the season, the church, graveyard, or crematorium can get quite chilly.
- Bag Check – Before leaving on the day, make sure your handbag has gloves, tissues, lip balm, throat lozenges, and hair accessories. Grab some concealer to use under your eyes when you nip to the bathroom, too. Sunglasses could also be an ideal choice.
- Avoid accessories – You shouldn’t wear any bangles or headbands, because they can be displaced or rattled when you’re sympathizing with people.
- Don’t forget water – Put a small bottle in your jacket pocket, or have a designated bag with bottles for the whole family. Staying hydrated will avoid any dry throat situations after shedding a few tears during the eulogy or significant moments during the funeral.
What Not to Wear to a Funeral
When attending a funeral, it’s advisable to exercise discretion in your dresswear. Steer clear of inappropriate choices such as trainers, ripped jeans, bright colors, loud prints, low-cut tops, and sports-affiliated clothing unless the deceased was heavily associated with the team or sport. Additionally, opt for closed-toe shoes to ensure a respectful and appropriate appearance during this somber occasion.
A Few Exceptions
There are occasional exceptions to these basic rules for what to wear to a funeral. The deceased’s background may impact the dress code. Hindus and Buddhists, for example, traditionally wear white during periods of mourning. In other cases, the family may hold an uplifting celebration of life in lieu of a traditional funeral service. Most of the time, semi-formal clothes are perfectly fine for such an event – you don’t need to wear a suit or commit to a dark color palette. The family might also forgo a standard funeral in favor of an outdoor memorial at a place that was special to the deceased, or they may have a ‘Celebration of Life’ to scatter ashes, if they opted for a cremation service. In those instances, there may be some leeway. If you’re uncertain and don’t want to ask someone in the family during their time of grief, opt for something that is casual yet well put together. A pair of comfortable pants and a light blouse is ideal for women; a neat shirt tucked into casual pants is appropriate for men.
We would just like to extend our immense condolences to you all during this difficult time. We hope that we were able to offer some assistance in regard to your funeral attire ideas. There are many reasons to dress well for a funeral: it’s respectful, and you don’t want to stand out. If anything, you want to blend in, not to be a distraction, and to be on the same page as the other mourners. When it comes to direct family members, we also want you to look your best and be as comfortable as possible. We’ll leave you with one last piece of advice: everyone grieves in different ways. There’s no ‘right’ way, so consider this your sign to react, feel, or hide as much as you wish. We wish you all the best!
Editor’s Note: This post was originally published in June 2019 and has been updated for accuracy and comprehensiveness.
Hazel is a content specialist that reigns from the amazing land of Cork, Ireland. If her natural red hair doesn’t showcase her Irish roots, her love of humor and spontaneous outbursts would be a clear indicator. When she’s not looking out for her amazing team mates, she’s usually re-writing song lyrics – tirelessly trying to incorporate them into her writing pieces. She has a quirky, lively, and caring personality and her little dog Eddie makes her the happiest overall.
