How to honor a deceased loved one at your wedding

Your wedding should be a joyous day where friends and family gather to celebrate the love between you and your spouse, but for brides and grooms who’ve lost a loved one, a wedding can be a bittersweet celebration. If you’re wanting to honor your loved ones who have passed away, there are many ways you can do so. Whether it’s a parent, grandparent or sibling, there are ways to memorialize their memory on your big day that are subtle and sentimental to light-hearted and laid-back.

You can make your deceased loved one a central part of the celebration by including them in a toast, or you can be more understated, with a photo in your bouquet or a special song. Whichever way you choose to honor loved ones who’ve passed at your wedding, know that they are there with you in spirit.

Include a Note in the Program – Most guests will likely already know which important people are missing from the big day, but if you want to give a subtle comment you might consider writing a short “In Loving Memory of” note below the ceremony details on your program.

Pin a Photo to the Bride’s Bouquet –  To honor loved ones close to the bride who are not present at the wedding, many brides choose to attach a small photo of the deceased to the base of the bridal bouquet. Only the bride will know it’s there, but it might make her smile as she walks down the aisle knowing their memory is close by on her special day.

Feature a Small Nod in Their Honor –  This could vary quite a bit depending on the wedding, but some ideas could be to serve your dad’s favorite side dish with dinner, use your grandmother’s famous chocolate chip cookie recipe for your late-night snack, or offering your brother’s favorite cocktail as a specialty drink. These small gestures might even only be known to the bride and groom, but they will be a thoughtful token to those who aren’t present.

Mention Your Loved Ones in a Toast – Most appropriately done by the bride or groom, you might include a few words in your toast to honor those who have passed. It can be as simple as “I wish my parents were here with us on this special day, but they are in our hearts forever,” or you can share a memory of your lost loved one as it relates to your new husband or wife.

Ask the DJ or Band to Play a Special Song – Ask your DJ or band to play a special song at your wedding as a way to honor loved ones who have passed. The performer could say something at the beginning of the song or they can just play it as a way for the bride and groom to remember their loved ones privately.

Pro tip: No one says the song needs to be slow and somber. If the best memory of your family member is an upbeat jam, honor them by dancing along to it just as they would have done if they were present.

For a more formal gesture, the DJ or band could say something at the start of the traditional mother/son or father/daughter dance. Often, the bride or groom will choose another close relative or a friend to dance with them for this special occasion.

Memorialize Loved Ones With a Sign – A small and tasteful sign can publically memorialize those passed whom you wish could be there for your special day.  Choose a piece that blends in with your wedding’s décor and color scheme.

Keep a Chair Empty in Honor of Your Loved Ones – In many cultures, people keep one chair near the front empty at the ceremony to honor those who are no longer with them. Put framed photos of the loved ones you’re missing on the chair so their presence is felt when you walk down the aisle.

However you choose to honor loved ones who have passed, your guests are sure to appreciate the effort and sentiment. Remember that it is your day, and you are free to celebrate their memory however you feel it’s best to do so.