Choosing Your Bridal Party

Photo: iStock.com/M_a_y_a

Although it’s one of the most exciting times in your life, planning a wedding can also be one of the most stressful. Indeed, despite the fact that many of the age-old wedding traditions are still being honored, we’re now in a time in which antiquated traditions are beginning to fade in favor of creating new, uniquely memorable ceremonies and experiences. The bridal party is no different. While some have large bridal parties filled with their family and friends, others choose to have just a couple of bridal party members. Others still, choose to go into it alone and forego the bridal party altogether! No matter which sounds the most like your wedding day vision, the following is an overview of how to choose your bridal party.

To Bridal Party or to Not, That is the Question

First and foremost, you need to decide whether you even want to have a bridal party at all. For instance, if you need to plan your wedding as quickly as possible, you may not want to include a one. On another hand, if one or both partners does not have very many close friends or family, you may also want to forego this tradition. Eloping or having a destination wedding? You may want to take the time to figure out how practical it is to include a bridal party as well. Regardless of which of those reasons suits you, it’s absolutely in your power to skip having a bridal party.

How Many Bridesmaids or Groomsmen Should You Have?

While the concept of bridesmaids was created as a literal human shield against both malicious spirits and people, today we’re far removed from that notion. Whether modern or traditional in nature, bridesmaids and groomsmen are typically there to provide support for the bride and groom as well as to assist in planning things such as bridal showers, the rehearsal dinner, and bachelor and bachelorette parties. Therefore, deciding how many bridesmaids you’ll have might somewhat depend on how you foresee those events looking. Want to host a big ladies trip? Go for lots of bridesmaids! Want to keep the group small and have a quiet weekend excursion? Keep your clan on the smaller side. Aside from deciding based on your pre-wedding events, there are lots of ways to make this decision. If you are having trouble deciding how many bridesmaids or groomsmen to have in your wedding, try pondering the following questions to help you narrow it down:

  • How big is the venue? – This is a very important question if you’re somewhat limited based on the amount of space you have available. For instance, if you have chosen a small church with an equally small alter, you’ll want to limit the number of people standing beside you. On the other hand, if you’ve chosen a massive venue, you can pretty much pick however many you wish.
  • Who are your closest female friends? – Take inventory of all your closest female family members as well as friends. If you only have a few, you can include them all. If you have a massive friend list, you might have to narrow it down. Do you have friends from different groups? Consider how many you might want to choose from each so that all your loved ones are represented.
  • Are all your friends even available to be in your bridal party? – Is your best friend scheduled to give birth a week after your wedding? Although you might yearn for her to join you on the altar, logistically that might be tough. Have a friend who can’t take a week off work to come to your destination wedding? Think about these questions and logistics before you settle on your bridal party number.
  • How many people does your new spouse want to have in their bridal party? – Tradition tells us that the number of bridesmaids should match the number of groomsmen, but these days that simply isn’t true. If your future hubby has already decided whom he wants to have on his side of the fence, you could just match that number, but you certainly don’t have to!
  • Are you willing to ask them to be in your bridal party?  –  Of course, it’s an honor to be offered a place in someone’s bridal party! But by doing so, you’re also asking them to fork over quite a bit of money. On average, it costs about $1,000 to be in someone’s bridal party when you add up the outfit, the gift and various pre-wedding events. Make sure that before you ask, you feel comfortable putting that financial load on them.
  • Are they up for planning wedding-related events? – Bridal parties are expected to help plan the bachelor and bachelorette party, the bridal showers, the rehearsal dinner and more. Moreover, they may also be expected to play hostess at most events (except for the wedding itself). Make sure you pick people that you know will be up to those tasks.
  • Can they provide the emotional support you need? – Planning a wedding can be a highly stressful experience. Members of your bridal party need to be ready and willing to offer a listening ear whenever the bride or groom is in distress, so make sure the people you pick can be reliable enough to do that for you.

Overall, planning a wedding can be an overwhelming undertaking. Luckily, by choosing the right bridesmaids, you’ll take some of the responsibilities off your own back in doing so. When choosing your bridal party, select people whom you have a mutual love and respect for and that you’re certain will be there to provide all the support you need on your big day. Being a member of a bridal party is a huge responsibility and honor, so make sure you think long and hard about whom you select to be a part of it. Have any tips or tricks about how you are picking your own bridal party? Share them in the comments below!