About

Welcome to the weird and wearable world of The Bard of Bizarre - a one-clown creative force fusing AI-powered music, chaotic humor, and existential dread into merch you didn’t know you needed. This shop features designs inspired by re: Cubicle 13, a 16-track AI-generated concept album about cursed coffee, printer conspiracies, HR Zoom calls, and the emotional breakdown of soup. All music is made with Riffusion, edited in Audacity, and paired with surreal AI-generated visuals using DeepAI. The Bard is currently a probationary clown (official status pending more parades), tinkers with a lithium-powered 1976 CitiCar, and holds an honorary PhD in Comedic Science (which is as prestigious as it is free). His tools are kalimbas, slide whistles, synthesizers, and chaos — and now, a mug with existential toast on it. Stick around. The machines are watching. And they think you're funny.
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“Choose a Temperature, You Coward!” Hoodie
“Choose a Temperature, You Coward!” Hoodie
Sale Price $45.40. Original Price $56.75. Comp. value
“Denied” - Signed, The Printer Rubber Stamp
“Denied” - Signed, The Printer Rubber Stamp
Sale Price $18.16. Original Price $22.70. Comp. value
Cubicle Descent of Deadlines Wall Clock
Cubicle Descent of Deadlines Wall Clock
Sale Price $29.88. Original Price $37.35. Comp. value
My Mug Hates Mornings Too
My Mug Hates Mornings Too
Sale Price $13.48. Original Price $16.85. Comp. value
“Choose a Temperature, You Coward!” Hoodie
Save 20%
“Choose a Temperature, You Coward!” Hoodie
Sale Price $45.40. Original Price $56.75. Comp. value
Cubicle Descent of Deadlines Wall Clock
Save 20%
Cubicle Descent of Deadlines Wall Clock
Sale Price $29.88. Original Price $37.35. Comp. value
“Denied” - Signed, The Printer Rubber Stamp
Save 20%
“Denied” - Signed, The Printer Rubber Stamp
Sale Price $18.16. Original Price $22.70. Comp. value
My Mug Hates Mornings Too
Save 20%
My Mug Hates Mornings Too
Sale Price $13.48. Original Price $16.85. Comp. value